Once upon a time I wrote about what my Asian girlfriend thinks are unexplainable white people things. Here's one of my own:- their complicated relationship with their ex's, or more specifically, their current partners' ex's.
Really, I consider myself quite melded with most of the US culture, to a point that my husband said the only thing Chinese about me is my skin color. Obviously he had forgotten about my Chinese palette and stomach. :) So I may not enjoy Superbowl (and understand that some find it offensive when I refer to it as a "ball game") but I can most certainly make a 7-layer chip dip and throw a party, so long as I get to surf the web during the game.
I have, however, learned that in this country, some people (specifically White people), try to maintain a friendship with their ex's. This is a phenomena that you do not see very often in Asia. I have given that a shot too, in the name of melding into the culture. But my conclusion from my little experiment is this: Why? Really, WHY??? For the love of God, can't we just let bygone be bygone?
If that's not the strangest concept to grasp, I also know that some people befriend their current partner's ex's. Why on earth would you want to do that? Are you really that desperate for friends? There are meet up groups online to make friends, and they are NOT your partner's ex's!!!
The only reason I can think of to want to meet up with Hubby's ex is to gloat to her about what I have with him that she could have had, had she hung around. And most definitely thank her for being a total idiot and throw that all away so I can have it. :) She may be the best human being in the world and I still don't see why I would want to be her friend. With the exception of two person having kids together, I don't see why one needs to keep in contact with their ex's.
I knew of this one woman who not only befriended her boyfriend's ex-wife, she also referred her a position at her workplace and then they work together. Ugh! In a wedding, the groom's ex-wife and the bride's ex-husband, and their current partners, and their kids can all show up!! Step siblings, half siblings, half siblings of step siblings, half siblings of half siblings, mix and match however you want. At this rate, forget about every one knowing everyone through six degrees of separation, pretty soon we'll all be related through 6 degree of separation. But is that really necessary for them to all be under one roof?
With the exception of me filling out an application for a top security clearance with some government establishment, I have no intention of digging out all these relationships. And definitely at no given time should they all gather in close vicinity!
1 comment:
For the most part you're right. However I'm friends with 3 of my ex's. Some people are better friends than they were a couple. The same commonalities that brought you together in the first place may not have been enough to keep you together as that couple.
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