I still remember this movie I watched when I was a kid. It was a movie about car racing ('cause us Asians just loooove that type of movies) in which the protagonist was speeding down the road (not during a race) and his girlfriend, as women are expected to do, asked him nicely to show down. To which his response was, "Don't worry, if we get into an accident, I'll make sure my side take the impact first." What? Was that meant to be loving or romantic? Was the girl supposed to feel better because of that?
Let's re-examine the statement and see what's wrong with it:-
First of all, he was okay with the knowledge of a possible accident, so long as he didn't need to slow down. God forbid, driving within the speed limit? How could she even thought about asking??
Second, he assumed he would have the control over which side took the impact.
Third, let's give him Second that he could, indeed, determine which side take the impact. The statement seemed to suggest that in the event of an accident, only one of them will die. Yeah, leave your love one behind to grief. Way to show your love, buddy! That's also making the assumption that she'd walk away scotch free. What if she's maimed and/or disfigured? She's the one that is going to have to live with that. Or worse, what if he's mained and/or disfigured. Since he did it for her, she's going to have to take care of him for life. I'm not saying one should ditch their loved one in a traumatic event, but bear in mind that in this scenario, all this could have been avoided if he'd only SLOW DOWN. In fact, one could even argue that he brought it on willfully!
Frankly, I think that's the most selfish thing one could say to the love one. I fail to see the romance in that statement. (And if they both survived, she should still dump him. His stupid genes did not need to be passed on.)
By the same token, I also don't get Titanic, which most women loved. Every woman wants a man who'd die for them, they say. Um.. not I, probably why I did not care for the movie. She watched her lover died in front of her, for her. What the hell was wrong with her?? How does one continue to live with that knowledge? As if the trauma from the boat sinking wasn't enough, how will she sleep at night after that? I can't do that. If it was me, I'd rather die with him. Or, be the one who goes.
Back to my original theory, we know that the surviving one will have a lot of grieving to do. If you pass on, there's a 50/50 chance that "life" would be better on the other side. Don't they always say that the grass is always greener on the other side?
In a sense, that's also a very selfish thing for me to say, because I do not want to be the one left behind to grief.