Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My Path to Becoming a Lush

Yesterday I went to Safeway after work and stood in line for booze.

Do you know how many things were wrong about the above statement? Two!

(1) I do not stand in line. Unless it's utmost necessary (absolutely need to mail out/pick up a package from the post office will be one of those instances), I do not wait in line. I'd rather go back on a different day or go to a different store, even if it'll take longer that way. (I only said I don't like waiting in line. I did not say it's the fastest way to accomplish what I set out to accomplish.)

(2) Booze! Me! I've been asked by many why I don't drink and/or whether I think alcohol is "bad." No, I'm not Mormon, I do not think alcohol is bad. I don't drink because I don't like the way it taste. It's an acquired taste. Whilst I am sure I can acquire the taste, between the health risks of alcohol versus female bodies and the cost of alcohol, I simply don't see the point. And it is becoming progressively more acceptable to drink soda in social settings.

(3, much like Book 5 of a trilogy) Me standing in line for booze!

Why did I do that? I realized that a little bit of alcohol in my system is my only chance of sleeping through the night while the Hubby is gone, the cats waking me up multiple times in the night notwithstanding.

So why is there a line? And I am not talking about the check out line either. I mean a line to get to the booze, literally.

So I went to Safeway after work yesterday, planning on getting some Mike's Hard Lemonade and movies from the DVDplay boxes. Lo and behold, Safeway had a power outage. Storms are all fun and game until the power outage, but we didn't even have a storm yesterday, it barely sprinkled! Of all places, Safeway has auxiliary power!! I'll be damned. Safeway, of all places! Auxiliary power in this case means bare minimal lightnings over the aisles. Cardboard boxes were broken down to put over the frozen item, to keep them cold for longer. Unfortunately, the bread (give us this day our daily bread...) and the alcoholic beverages were stashed in a corner without auxiliary power supply. So is that going to deter the grocery store giant from selling those items? No!

First, they warded off the area. Then, they had one Starbucks girl (yes, this is one of those foo foo Safeways with a built-in Starbucks inside) standing guard, instructing people to stand in line, and another one will take two patrons at a time, with a handheld flashlight to fetch their items. It's like an early flashlight tour of the Winchester Mystery House, except in Safeway. Succumb to my weariness of the day, I joined the line of bread and alcohol patrons.

I have now, officially, hit the newest low in my life.

[Luckily, our apartment, a mere four blocks from Safeway, did not have power outage when I got home. I don't think 6-packs of Mike's Hard Lemonade would do the job. I might just have to take a Nyquil to knock myself out, literally. Better yet, take the Nyquil with the Mike's Hard Lemonade...]


Jonathan said...

Try Jameson whiskey, that should do the trick. Even at $20-$25/bottle, it will be more bang for your buck. That or red wine definitely does the trick for me.

parsonii said...

I still want to wake up the next morning! Else it defeats the purpose! :D