Thursday, May 28, 2009

Stupid Cell Phone Guy II

Remember that stupid guy yakking loudly on his cell phone in the open area of my apartment complex at 5 AM? Well, he did it two more times!!! Obviously this is going to be a recurring thing. The first time I gave the benefit of doubt -- maybe it's a one time thing. The second time some guy from the first floor (I live in top floor) talked to him before I got around to it. For the most part I did not want to wake up more people than this asshole already had. By the third time, I am not going to take it lying down, literally. First I got up and said, "Excuse me!" out of my bedroom window, and saw the guy scurrying away. Good, right? I turned around and he was back! The audacity!

I dug through my purse for that number the apartment management gave me to call the on-site patrol. No such luck, I left the number at work. At which point the testosterone got hold of me and I swung the screen door open, walked into our patio, leaned over and yelled, "Can you please shut up?!" The adrenalin prevented me from going back to sleep, but I felt so much better after yelling at the guy. :) [When I mentioned my Asian "passive-aggressiveness" to my husband, he said, "Passive? You are all aggressive, what passive?"]

God, don't I wish I could deploy a Super Soaker 3000. For those uninitiated, the Super Soaker 3000 is a water gun that can hold a ridiculous amount of water. Unfortunately a coworker kindly informed me that that could be construed as an assault. Can an asshole who woke me up at 5 AM for the THIRD time really have a defense against my assault towards him?

What should I do next time?

(1) Call the patrol
(2) Learn how to say "I am calling the cops" in his language (The asshole was not speaking English on the phone, presumably he was calling some Asian countries at the wee hour! I am not above learning the same sentence in every single Asian language until I get the right one. We have enough ethnic diversity that would allow me to do that!)
(3) Go and stare at him and find out which apartment he lives at (so I can go knock on his door and wake up his family and ask them to ask him to stop)
(4) Leave fliers in multiple languages in our elevators asking him to stop and asking others to ask him to stop

Choice #3 is my personal favorite. Yes, I am vindictive and an expert in escalating an adverse situation. =D


Atheist Confessions said...

(5) Get earplugs ;)

parsonii said...

You must have missed the part when I confessed to being an aggressive and vindictive person. ;) No way in HELL I am going to wear earplugs to sleep every night for the off chance that some asshole is going to talk on the phone outside my apartment building occasionally. NO WAY IN HELL!

parsonii said...

Option #6 -- go down and yell at him in his face with cell phone, pepper spray and/or taser in hand (for self defense purposes, of course =)